Taking a look at my life.. and seeing that life is like this..I get so frustrated when Im on the edge of life & as the stars catch me.. maybe I'll shoot across the sky into something amazing.

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All I wanna be is with you, I don't have to know your name.. && im waiting right here in this darnkness.

Its cold and wet, with no sturring sounds of you. Im alone. & unalive. Maybe a laugh in the distance? Maybe not. I wanna be with you.. I don't wanna know anything about you.. conversation is easier.

I searching.. && nothing is going right and everything is soo messed up. Cut deep and I wanna go home.. Im going to bleed right into your hands.. Please don't let a drop fall.. take me with you.

because I need you more than ever.. your footsteps beside mine.. but where are you.. Im soo confused. No matter where I am.. you're there.. now && I can feel you, but I don't know your name.. I wanna figure it out.. this life. its soo complicated.

&& everything is changing outta my control && Im feeling unnormal.. the world is shifting underneath my feet, sometimes I wanna scream out loud just to be heard.

&& I just wanna feel you near.. and thats as close to you as I need.. but later maybe I'll know you.. && understand my purpose. There is a peaceful feeling of mind with you && I wanna stick close to you and follow your footsteps.

Holding me close I hear a whisper.. the sound of your voice is prospering into my mind..&& I realized you've saved me.. brought me to my feet and away from defeat. without you and your voice && without the sounds of your words I'd be lost.

My life is so strung out.. Im living on a thin string.

Too much mor my line could break

and with you theres not much more I can take

Im tired of being treated as something less than I am.

Take a seat, take a seat

Its time for me to breathe.

Tune in to my life and take a chest full of air and blow it all away

Take a seat, Take a seat

I need this time to breathe.

Im tired of being down and drowning in all the sounds

the sounds of sobs and tears rolling down my face

I need to pick it up, get it together, and not lose myself.

Take a seat, take a seat

I need to breathe

Losing myself causes chaios that we can't beat

Take a seat, take a seat

Im learning to breathe.

I can do this on my own

I got myself this far, I never shoulda hit that boundary, and now I am so far down its going to take a miracle to fix me.

Im not alone I have the help I need, but its up to me to change into who I want to be.

Take a seat, Take a seat..

Im learning to breathe.

(written by me and I'd appreciate if no one took this from me =])

So yeah I have alot of stuff I need to do before I graduate..

I've had pretty much a change of heart the past days after tearing myself soo far down. It is time to get rid of bitterness towards people and just make things right..  I feel as if Im wasting my life with these thoughts. Drama follows me everywhere.. people try to bring me down..sometimes the succeed and break my heart and other times they fail .. Why have bitterness towards me when you don't even know me.. and trust me honey jealousy will get you know where, but make you become bitter inside.. how do I know? I've experienced it.. it messed up the best thing in my life.. when really they were jealous of what I had.. but now it's over probably forever..

Well as my bestie said there is always that one person who wants to see you fall face down on the floor and wouldn't give a damn to pick you up.. well we don't need people like that... this world is soo messed up and caught up in themselves that they don't realize how much they hurt others.. and how much their reactions reflect the lives of others.. I've heard of people commiting suicide from people in there skools making fun of them.. cause they felt unloved.. and exile.. do we want to be the ones knowing that we made someone kill themselves? NO! That is horrible.. and if you don't care well you are a spineless person.. and you deserve to rot! I think people should be there for eachother to lift one another up.. cause if we didn't have eachother.. where would we be? Probably lost and confused with no one to turn to!  The story about people killing themselves in no lie.. I had a teacher at skool last semster speak of a boy who got picked on soo bad that he really committed suicide.. we don't need to protray lives like this.. because we are not only hurting that person who killed themselves.. but the many people in his/her family that cared and loved them!

Just think about it.. think about all the people your actions affect everyday.. and the people who look up to you for your advice, strength, courage, and all you do is put them down and tear them apart.. wtf!! They look up to you! Set the example.. Im sure they'll follow you.. Seriously take time and look at your life.. you'll see what is happeneing.. I've looked at mine and realized alot! I wish more people would do that.

I just want to make people happy.. but if it interferes with my happiness I might break, but Im just not going to put myself before others.. Im going to make sure they have a smile on there faces.. I've learned alot in the past few days.. I've taken time to tear myself up and see what I've been doing.. and I've pissed some people off.. I appologize.. but to some they owe me appologies for their actions..

Im becoming a better person.. and Im gonna make it known.. not only by these words.. cause my actions are going to shy through everyword Im saying! I've changed alot.. personality wise... I have alot to prove.. and time is running out.. So many decisions I have to make.. and I need to be patient..and give my patience to others and show them respect. I know that I can be cruel person... and I've held grudges which is stupid on my part.. a few people will recieve messages in the next few days.. just because i won't get to say it to there faces.. and some I will...

Like I've said.. I've had a change of heart a big one.. I may get moody sometimes but you gotta forgive me.. Im not perfect no one is.. Im just trying to improve everything.. even if it's impossible.. but i don't think it is.. Im dreaming and Im going to live my life to the fullest so I can be f ully alive..

Why tell lies when you could tell the truth.. cause telling a lie could make a person smile.. but why Lie when you should tell them the truth cause sooner or later they'll find out.. Just be yourself..live your life while being young.. be care free.. You're only young once.. and Alot of this stuff I've just said was told to me by my inspiration.. He has always been that to me and soo much more.. but yet he'll never know how much more he is!♥

My motivator? God, My friends, and the freakiest dream ever that I had last night.. scared the crap outta me.. and It's hard to scare me..

<3